No rest now!

Howdy all!

So this past weekend I was feeling lonely and I downloaded and installed the app
Match.com on Friday afternoon
and I was really not prepared for what happened next!
As so as my profile was finished, I had a BUNCH of recommendations
based on my profile responses....and I freaked out H A R D!
I got overwhelmed and anxious and just scared
and I shut it off.
Saturday I went back on to Match.com and started changing my profile
to make it more like me and I went through some of my recommended women
and clicked on the heart.
I didn't realize that when that happened it sent a notice to the person I had viewed.
so, again, I freaked the fuck out and I shut it off.
Later that day, I went back on to Match.com and looked into how much it cost
to subscribe so I could see who had liked me.
Minimum cost is $35! A! MONTH!
I don't have that money right now
so, once again, I freaked out and turned it off.

Seeing a pattern folks?

I don't know that I am ready to start dating again
and if you base it by All my reactions for Match.com
I'm Not.
However, freaking out is part of life. How long it lasts should tell you
if you are ready to do something or not.
Dating freaks me out. Always has.
Still being alone freaks me out even more.
I don't want to sit here a create an imaginary lover and still be alone
just so I don't have to face the scary reality of dating someone and failing.
Or Worse, Succeeding.
Then what do I do GEEZ! I'd have to be Real! LOL!
I don't know if I'll pay for Match.com or if I'll try to find something else
But being alone sucks and I want to go out and date and have fun with a woman!
and it wont happen by sitting on my ass doing nothing!
SO
Can't Stop Now.
Will keep y'all's posted.

That's all for Now, Space-Pals!
Remember: Life is Insane. You're Not!

Maybe just a lil' freaked out about dating! Z-Z-Z-Z-ZOINKS!