Path to Definition....and PORPOISE!

PORPOISE!




If y'all's remember in 'The Matrix' Smith had a Long monologue about
Purpose. Basically, Purpose is what makes every creature move forward.
Walt Disney said that, simply, we need to have hope, look towards
the future and Keep Moving Forward.
I am more of the mind of the late Mr. Disney than a movie villain
because he was real and, by following his idea, he made his vision real.
Like Steve Jobs, Nikola Tesla, Muhammad Ali, Bruce Lee, and my brother.
Just to name a few.

Keep moving forward.

The paths we take to get from our 'There' to 'Here' define us
and it's never easy.
This last week I had (am still having?) a Major bout with Depression.
This spiraled out of loneliness and feeling like i'm not understood
and I don't know if I ever will be.
I've spent some much of my life by myself and in my own head.
I figure no one wants to hear all the stuff that goes on in there.
I Don't want to hear what's in my head most of the time!
I had arguments with myself, saying stuff that made me want to
stay in bed and not come out.
But I got up. and I went to work. and when I needed to fall apart
I did it alone.
"nothing's worse than seeing' a Fat Man Cry!"
(Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back).
I don't like to talk about myself that's why this blog has started
and stopped so much. Figure it's just complaining and I. Hate. Doing. That.
(A guy I work with does that all. Day. Long. O_O)
I don't like dumping my crap on other people. Feels...lame.
So i go through what I need to and deal with it so I can be...'ok' at my job,
or to my family, and on.
I guess my point is...that...regardless of what I went through this past week,
I'm still here and still going. Still Moving Forward.
It's not easy and probably never will be.
Probably be harder with a woman in my life.
but i'll figure that out when it happens
Just gotta keep moving forward.


That's All for Now, Space-Pals!
Remember: Life is Insane, You're Not!

It tries to take you down with it but you have to Keep Moving Forward.

Path to Definition and Purpose...or is it Porpoise?

OK
So I said I was gonna do this so I might as well...Just Do It! (Thank you Shia LaBeouf!)

So we all have to go from one place to get to the next.
We all have to go from 'There' to get to 'Here.'
It's not easy because we don't Know where are respective 'There' and 'Here' really are.
It changes for every individual. It's a...chore or a massive ordeal or, for some, an opera,
to even start the trek. But we all do it and some of us need to do it more than others.
I needed to go through everything I have gone through - living it Los Angeles and being
miserable, traveling across the country with the hope of a new and better life, that hope
fizzling out like a dud sparkler or firecracker, wallowing through the muck and refuse of
my depression anxiety and loneliness - all to get to My 'Here.'
My Better Here.
 - Cool current job. McEnroe's Organic Farm (look it up). Working in the market with
a very small staff of people who...
...all would be fired from Trader Joe's within a month for various reasons,
mostly laziness, working hungover Con-sis-tant-ly and not doing the job.
They are cool people but their work ethic is non-existent. And they all think they
work really hard at their job...while complaining to their friends or texting on their cellphones. The job itself is like Joe's in that you do Everything in the store and
it's physical so I like it. My body may not like Me after work for all the physical
work I do but it's nothing heating pads or cold packs can't fix.
 - I have OFFICIALLY lost 110 pounds!
YEAH BABY! Do You SEE ME?! Do I make you randy Bobby-uhhh-Baby!? YEEEAAAAHHH!
MAJOR point! Feels Great! I can Move, sleep, I don't feel like a troll
or waste of a person.I still have 50 pounds....or more...to loose but
this is Still an AWESOME Major post for me!
 - Still have the depression, anxiety and loneliness. I was talking to a coworker
....the cool one...maybe the Only cool one
...and we agreed that, where we live - Millerton, New York (lookitup)-
is not conducive to finding a gf/bf (my case/her case).
As my brother puts it...'it's Hillbilly Country.' Hands down, no bullshit,
100 percent RIGHT!
so I guess working on my weight and other stuff will work for now.
 - still writing. yes, still writing. d/a/l (figure it out) always get in the way
but I'm breaking through it and ideas keep flowing so I keep pushing through.

it's all unexpected but apparent too. Like Avengers: Infinity War.
We all knew it was coming since the first avengers movie.
and it was a slog to get there. It was a Fun Exciting slog but still a slog!
And, yeah, a little bittersweet too once arriving here.
But so is everything and you have to take the pains with the joy,
the sorrow with the happiness, the rough with the smooth.
and if you want your Here to be joyful, happy & smooth
you need to work at it. or, in other words....
...Just Do It! (Thank you again Shia LaBeouf!)

so keep reading. More to come.


That's All for Now, Space - Pals!
Remember: Life is Insane. You're Not!
(coming soon....PORPOISE!)